New Years Day: Holding on to what is Good

Look to this day!

For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of existence:
The bliss of growth, the glory of action, the splendour of beauty;
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

words attributed to Kalidasa, a 3rd century Indian author.

New Years Day is a time for new beginnings, a time for hope of what might be and a time to reflect on what has been before us. And yet it is just a day, much like any other day really. The sun has risen, as it has always risen and in a few hours time it will set, as it has always set.

As we look out into the unknown future, it has become our custom, on this day, to resolve to do things differently than we have in the past. We make New Year’s resolutions and begin to practise them, on this day. The problem is of course that we rarely keep them up; we quickly slip back into those old habits.

I wonder if this will ever work. I suspect the reason it doesn’t is that we focus too much of our attention on the negative, on what is wrong. Perhaps what we ought to be doing is focusing on what is healthy and good and actually work and practise these habits. Maybe by focusing on what is wrong all that we end up doing is actually strengthening these weaknesses and give them more power.  Perhaps the problem is that we spend too much time living in our problems, as opposed to living in the solutions to our problems. By doing so are we actually strengthening the destructive aspects of ourselves as opposed to our compassionate sides? As I keep reminding myself - the wolf that wins is the one that we feed.

Life is constantly changing, nothing ever stays exactly the same, and no moment is like any other. Each of us experience these moments differently too; we each bring our pasts with us to each moment and this always impacts on the present. We cannot completely let go, nor should we. Yes we need to let go of what stops us living as best we can, but we also need to hold on to what is healthy, that which feeds and nurtures us. We need these lifelines to live happily and healthily.

But what is it that we need to develop? What should we hold on to? What do we need to nurture in order to live healthy and happy lives? And what are the lifelines that sustain us, when life seems really tough?

Paul of Tarsus, in the 13^th Chapter of his first letter to the Corinthians names three truths that can hold us through any of the storms of life. These truths are secured, they are rock solid, they are eternal and they are of course universal. We can hold on and depend on these three, but only if we nurture and strengthen them. Something we will find difficult if we focus all are energy on what is wrong with us on what we must let go of. Actually we may well find that our troubles begin to disappear as we develop these three.

And what are these three? 

They are faith, hope and love.

And what do these three mean?

Faith is about trusting in life itself; it is about living as openly and honestly as possible; it is about accepting that there is pain in life, but that there is also so much joy; it is realising that the mere fact that we exist at all is life’s greatest gift. This allows us to sing the joy of living, in all its mystery. It is also about seeing that we are all in this together and that we need to connect as much as possible to the life in which we share. We need to ensure that this lifeline is secure and not worn or frayed at the edges. This is something we need to hold onto and not let go of. Why, you may well ask? Well because it sustains us through the vicissitudes of life. Life does not offer much certainty, but we need not despair at this. Again you may ask why? Well because from despair grows hope.

Hope is the second of those eternal, universal truths. Hope is rooted in despair; it grows from the same place. To live in hope is to believe that if we live with conviction and compassion that we can effect positive change in our world, even if we ourselves do not get see to see its full fruition. Hope is about planting those seeds when and where ever we can. This is why I have committed to leading the 12 Steps to a Compassionate Life Reading groups in the congregations I serve. This is an attempt to develop the connection to our compassionate natures and therefore improve our own lives and those around us.  I have faith in the hope that Confucius’s concentric circles of compassion can bear fruit in our age and that by developing our compassionate natures we can go out into our communities, our regions, our countries and even our world and be the change we want to see.

To live with hope is to live with the attitude that the future is genuinely open. The God of my understanding works with us and guides us but leaves life open, it is not pre-ordained. “The Lure of Divine Love” draws us out of ourselves, but it also allows life to develop freely. I accept that the past does have power, I have a strong sense of history, this is very important. That said I do not believe that the past defines the future, not everything is inevitable. The future is unwritten.

Life is definitely a journey worth taking, even during its toughest moments. Yes we all despair at times and we all live with uncertainty, but the beacon of hope is always there. This brings to mind a line in from "Proverbs" “Where there is no vision (no hope) the people perish.” Hope is a vital lifeline it both holds and sustains us. It is an eternal and universal principle and one that requires nurture. It is all about love.

But what is love? How can it sustain us? By the way I am not talking of romance here; I am talking of spiritual love, self giving love. Spiritual love is that power that connects us to our true selves, one another, the life we share and whatever it is that connects all life. What I myself call God; that power that is greater than all and yet present in each. Love is about caring deeply and passionately about life itself. This of course requires attention; it is a life line that requires nurture. Love reminds me that we do not live for ourselves alone or by ourselves alone. “no man is an island” or as Kurt Vonnegut once put it “one human being is no human being”. The universal and eternal truth is that we need the love, the care, the companionship of others in order to fully experience what it is to be alive. By ourselves we are never fully alive.

So my New Year’s message this year is not really about letting go, it’s actually about holding and developing those lifelines that sustain and nurture us. Instead of focusing on the problem, let’s focus on the solution. Remember the wolf that wins is the one that we feed. Therefore if we spend our time focusing on the problem we may well end up making it bigger than it actually is; where as if we simply feed and develop our compassionate sides, thereby feeding the solution, the problem will simply wither away and die.

Whatever this year brings us, let us resolve to develop lives of faith, hope and love and be the change that we want to see. The future truly is unwritten, no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

Lao Tzu once said:

If there is to be peace in the world,

There must be peace in the nations.

If there is to be peace in the nations,

There must be peace in the cities.

If there is to be peace in the cities,

There must be peace between neighbours.

If there is to be peace between neighbours,

There must be peace in the home.

If there is to be peace in the home,

There must be peace in the heart.

Hope not Hate: A Universalist's Response

“You may possess only a small light, but uncover it, let it shine, use it in order to bring more light and understanding to the hearts and minds of men and women. Give them not Hell, but hope and courage. Do not push them deeper into their theological despair, but preach the kindness and everlasting love of God.”
John Murray

These words by John Murray have been ringing in my ears these last few days.

We need hope more than anything at this moment and we need courage. We are all being challenged by despair and at times hatred.

We have all witnessed the rioting and looting and wanton destruction in some of our cities, although not all. Watching the news last week you would think the whole country had gone up in smoke, when in truth it was isolated to certain areas.

We all witnessed the horror of the gunning down of children in Norway; we have seen the phone hacking scandal and the corruption of journalist, the metropolitan police as well as politicians and public figures; we continue to see war and conflict in north Africa, violence in the middle east and famine in the Sudan, exacerbated by its own government;

We have seen the death of a talented singer, to the disease of addiction. It would be so easy to turn away and give up on life... I know I have been tempted to do so from time to time.

I have also felt, as I am sure we all feel sometimes, the need to condemn to blame to turn again to hate. And then I look in the mirror and remember the words of Jesus “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”; and then I have to be honest and say that yes I too have hated and I too have hurt others. This is not me condoning what has happened, just remembering that I share a common humanity with these rioting youths and corrupt politicians, and terrorists and journalists and soldiers, and addicts and the homeless and the mentally ill. I could be anyone of them and know at times I have been some of them. I have certainly lived in despair and perhaps even hated enough to kill. I am human I am not immune from such emotions, I share a common humanity with these very same people. We all do.

In the very same cities where the violence erupted we have seen people coming together; people from all walks of life, at one, in community. There have been peace vigils in all the major cities where rioting took place; people from all walks of life, sharing in their common humanity.

I would imagine only someone completely lost in their own hatred could have failed to have been moved by the example of Tariq Jehan, father of one of the three young man who were mowed down in Birmingham attempting to protect their community. This man did not speak of retribution or reprisal; yes he obviously wants justice, but not revenge. Instead he spoke of our common humanity and the need for communities to come together. Here is a man of faith and love and compassion and his light has definitely shone brighter than any flame this week.

The Norwegian response to the killing of 77 people, 69 of them young activist on a summer camp is another example of hope triumphing over hate. What do we see from Norway’s politicians? We see them uniting together in partisanship for the coming election. The aim of the killer was to attack Norwegian multi-culturalism and tear the nation apart. How have the people responded? They have come together in unity and mutual support in response to the violence and horror. It will not bring the lost lives back, of course it will not, but it would seem that love and hope is prevailing in the aftermath of such horror.

It would be easy to despair at humanity and yet I see hope everywhere.

I am a Universalist, in both the old meaning of the word and its more modern incarnations. I both believe and experience a God of love who accepts all and rejects none; is present in all life and yet is greater than the entirety of all. I also believe that there are many ways to understand and experience this universal love. I do not believe that there is only one way. Universalism has given me a code of hopefulness that I can live by. It sustains me through the vicissitudes of life.

My Universalism is a living breathing faith and helps me make some sense of the world in which I live. It helps me to make some sense of both hope and despair, emotions that are with us all. Universalism does not separate them. They are joined at the hip; they are like Siamese twins, who depend on one another for life.

In the French language hope (espoir) and despair (désespoir) share the same root. From this it seems reasonable to conclude that the opposite of hope is not actually despair but indifference. Indifference is to live without feeling or passion or care, to fail to respond to the pain and or suffering around, to deny our link to one another, to fail to feel another’s pain, to care less. Yes people in the midst of despair struggle and may even want to give up, but they keep on, hope is never too far away. Hope and despair are two branches formed from the same root of the one tree.

Universalism is a hope filled faith, but that does not make it an easy path. It is not about sitting back and waiting to be rescued by the God of Love it promotes. Instead it declares that salvation, in this life, can only be achieved by facing up to the suffering present in all our lives and dealing directly with the despair that accompanies it.

There are those who accuse we hope filled Universalists as being nothing more than “Pollyannas”, I have had this accusation thrown at me. Is this true? I certainly do not deny the pain of life, quite the opposite I have learnt that love and beauty can only truly be found in the very muck of life itself, this is where the pearls and diamonds are found. Hope is found through honestly living through the vicissitudes of life.

We are all responsible for creating the world in which we live. We bought the newspapers that tapped into the phones of people; we all played our role in creating the current financial crisis. can any one of us truly claim innocence? I know that I can not.

I believe that the Brahma Kumaris hit the nail on the head in this recent public response to the rioting:

“Greed, inhumanity, and lack of integrity in the pursuit of financial or political gain are hardly the preserve of the young rioters. Young people are particularly susceptible to the myth peddled to them by society that happiness lies in material gain; this has left a huge vacuum inside with nothing to fill it.”

We can all point the finger and blame others for the current state we are in, but we all share a common humanity. We are all responsible for the state we are. I will certainly hold my hand up and accept my responsibility. Therefore we are all responsible for the solution, which has already begun by communities coming together. In the very despair of our current situation there is hope.

I have felt incredible sadness at times these last few weeks as I have witnesses the many horrors we inflict on one another, but I live with hope which I believe can fill the vacuum in our world. I will not turn away and sink into depression, which these days I understand differently to sadness.

Sadness is an emotion which any fully connected and therefore awakened human being must feel. If a person never feels sadness or pain, then they never feel love either. Depression on the other hand is something very different. More often than not it is the result of becoming trapped in self pity or crippled by despondency. Sadness is a naturally occurring irremovable part of our humanity, where as depression can be lessened and even totally eliminated, if correctly treated. Sadness can bring us together in our shared humanity, where as depression keeps us apart and in isolation. Sadness breeds hope; depression suffocates it.

Sadness is an emotion that we need as we look out at some of the terrible destruction and corruption witnessed over these last few weeks. It is an emotion I myself have felt many times, but it has not brought with it hopelessness. I have also felt it during conversations with those nearest and dearest to me; people struggling with the pain of their own lives. I have tried to be with my loved ones but I have not found it easy at times and I know that I have failed them on occasion, I am not immune from diffidence. Sometimes other people’s pain can be just too much.

I also know what it is like to live without hope. I have been the slave of addiction and I have been constrained and trapped by depression. I have hated myself and I have hated my world, but not anymore. I have found love and I have found hope, in the midst of despair. I found it by searching the through the muck of my own life. That great reality deep down within every single one of us.

So to echo, but to slightly alter, the sentiments of John Murray. Let’s give our world hope and not hate. Let’s follow the examples all around us in our own cities and our towns, lets live lives of love and connection.

Love will prevail...

“What the world needs now, is love sweet love"