A New Mexico Journey

Feel your heart and follow your feet

I’d never heard of New Mexico until it was brought to my attention by a
woman selling beautiful silver and turquoise jewellery at a spiritual
holistic fair in London back in 1996. I discovered that it is nestled in
between Arizona and Texas, a High Desert Mountain State blanketed in sage,
sprinkled with cactus and wild flowers, inhabited by Native American
Indians for hundreds of years. I was intrigued by her stories of an area
of New Mexico called Taos. The jewellery was made by the Tiwa Tribe,
living on Taos Pueblo. I came away from that conversation wanting to know
more about this wild and wonderful place. I bought a book about the
history of New Mexico and the transition in my own life had started.

I learned that New Mexico and in particular Taos, was and still is a
deeply spiritual place. The concept of spirituality has many different
meanings for many different people. I could not even begin to say when I
started on my own spiritual path, a long time I feel. Surrounded by the
books, knowledge, and people I loved, I sensed that great changes were
heading my way. I started to dream about Buffalo, Eagles, land unfamiliar
to me, Indians; sun sets that I could not do justice to no matter how I
tried to describe them. I put it all down to the content of the book which
was somehow re-enforcing the need for me to go and visit this incredible
part of the world.

I followed my intuition, that gut feeling that is telling us to do things
that seem quite ludicrous at the time but we can’t quite resist. I got on
a plane in April 1996. I am a well travelled individual but had never
been affected by a landscape the way I was when I got to Taos. Huge open
powder-blue skies greeted me and my life changing journey had begun. I’ve
always believed that openness of mind and heart can lead to us to life
experiences we could never have imagined.

I spent a couple of weeks doing the visitor thing, getting to know the
locals, embracing the gorgeous landscape, allowing the universe to guide
me. I returned home to London excited about going back to Taos, the pull
for me to spend more time there was powerful and resistance of any
description wasn’t on the agenda. The idea of going back fairly soon felt
quite natural to me. Another part of the bigger picture to come. October
1996, I am in another season, in Taos. Sunflowers are everywhere proudly
showing their brilliance of colour to all. I have made connections with
the Taos Pueblo. I went in one day as a visitor and left that same day
with an opportunity to work for the Tiwa People. I have a background in
Psychiatric Health Care. It came up in conversation with a group of tribal
members who asked if I could help them with Health Care Programmes they
were trying to set up. I thanked them profusely for the honour of being
asked but said I couldn’t possibly leave my comfortable life in London, my
home, my work, my friends. Surely? Living in New Mexico became a part of
my daily thought process, consciously and unconsciously.

I went back again in 1997. I wanted clarity that I would be doing the right
thing by letting go of everything familiar to me to come and live in a
place I knew little about. Prayer, mediation, trust, and overcoming the
fears I’d acquired during this period of my life were the tools I had to
take the plunge. I announced to all who I loved that I’d be heading to
Taos in Spring of 1998. The reality of change was firmly planted in my
heart now. The unknown is scary, exciting, and thought provoking. I
couldn’t imagine for a minute what my life would look or feel like when I
got there. All I knew was that I was doing what was meant to be. The
goodbyes were said and I left London in comfortable assurance that I
would never be the same again when this next part of my life was over. I
started working at the Pueblo soon after my arrival in Taos. I was living
in two worlds and knew that every day when I drove past the sign "you are
now entering Indian lands", I was entering a place of tremendous spiritual
energy and power. I witnessed some of the most beautiful ceremonies,
dances, and festivals done to honour Mother Earth that I’d ever seen
elsewhere in the world. I was taught how to shawl dance by the women of
the Tribe. I was taken on many occasions to observe their Buffalo herd,
gracious gigantic beasts with their own air of pride and dignity. Bald
eagles were a daily sight, wing spans you could do nothing but be in awe
of. I had to slow my car down more times than I can remember to let a
lone Coyote cross the road in front of me. That very special few seconds
when they look you in the eye before going about their own daily
business. Many of the Tiwa people became my good friends and teachers. I
worked with them for 14 months and left feeling that I’d done all I was
meant to do with the Tribe in that time. I stayed on in Taos for almost
12 years. All of the other incredible spiritual, life-changing
experiences I had then will one day need to become a book, I feel.

My core message about what I’ve written here is this: never tell yourself you
can’t do something you want to do. Find the reasons to make it happen
instead of finding the excuses to make it not happen. With a fearless
open heart, you can turn your dreams and wishes into your own realities.
I am now back in London finding that my 12 years in New Mexico has in
fact changed me in many ways and I’m ready for the next life adventure
wherever it may take me.

Blessings to you all
Ellie Blair.

Ellie Blair is originally from Scotland. She has travelled the world and feels she is a better person for having done so. She has been on her Spiritual Path for as long as she can remember. She is inspired by inspiring people and situations. The above is a short piece she has written since returning back to London a few months ago after living in Taos, New Mexico for 11 years.

Alan Watts

Alan Wilson Watts (6 January 1915 – 16 November 1973) was a British philosopher, writer, and speaker, best known as an interpreter and popularizer of Eastern philosophy for a Western audience. Born in Chislehurst, he moved to the United States in 1938 and began Zen training in New York. Pursuing a career, he attended Seabury-Western Theological Seminary, where he received a master's degree in theology. Watts became an Episcopalpriest but left the ministry in 1950 and moved to California where he joined the faculty of the American Academy of Asian Studies.

Living on the West Coast, Watts gained a large following in the San Francisco Bay Area while working as a volunteer programmer at KPFA, a Pacifica Radio station in Berkeley. Watts wrote more than 25 books and articles on subjects important to Eastern and Western religion, introducing the then-burgeoning youth culture toThe Way of Zen (1957), one of the first bestselling books on Buddhism. In Psychotherapy East and West (1961), Watts proposed that Buddhism could be best thought of as a form of psychotherapy, not just a religion. LikeAldous Huxley before him, he explored human consciousness in the essay, "The New Alchemy" (1958), and in the book, The Joyous Cosmology (1962).

Towards the end of his life, he divided his time between a houseboat in Sausalito and a cabin on Mount Tamalpais. His legacy has been kept alive with the help of his son, Mark Watts, and many of his recorded talks and lectures have found new life on the Internet. Critic Erik Davis notes the freshness, longevity, and continuing relevance of Watts's work today, observing that his "writings and recorded talks still shimmer with a profound and galvanizing lucidity."

Alan Watts - Presence Of Mind

Alan Watts - Life Is a Dance of Pattern

Alan Watts - How We Define Ourselves

Alan Watts - Let Go & Swim With It

Living the Uncalculated Life - Alan Watts

The Trap of Seeking - Alan Watts

Desirelessness - Alan Watts

The Middle Way - Alan Watts

Alan Watts - Our Image of the World

Alan Watts - Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching

Alan Watts on Being God

Alan Watts interviews Aldous Huxley

Part 1

Part 2

Alan Watts - Tribute to Carl Jung

Alan Watts - Conversation With Myself

Spiritual practices: grounding and centring

Many rituals begin with this simple practice, especially Pagan circles. It comes from the Taoist tradition originally, I think. There are several different versions of it.

Its purpose is to allow you to feel connected to the Earth (grounded), not floating away into fantasy-world, not obsessing about the past or the future, but being present in the now. The centring part of the practice allows you to feel connected to the cosmos and the four sacred directions, which are associated with the elements.

Begin by focusing on your breathing. Don't breathe in any special way, just notice how your breath comes in and out of your nostrils, and how your belly rises and falls.

As you breathe in and out, feel your feet planted firmly on the ground. Relax your hips and your knees and imagine a thread extending from the top of your head to the centre of the sky (this helps to align your spine with the axis of the Earth).

Imagine that your feet are tree roots, and extend your roots deep into the earth. Your roots push down into the earth, through the rich soil, finding their way among rocks, and down deep into the molten core of the Earth. As you breathe out, extend your roots; as you breathe in, draw up energy from deep within the Earth.

As the energy makes its way into your body, draw it up through your legs and feel it gathering and pooling in your solar plexus. Note the colour of the energy.

Now extend a tendril of energy up your spine. Imagine that your spine is the trunk of a tree, and extend your aura at the top of your head, growing branches. Extend your branches up into the sky, beyond the atmosphere, and reach for the energy of the starlight. As you breathe out, extend your branches; as you breathe in, draw the energy down from above. Feel it gathering and pooling in your solar plexus, mingling with the energy from below.

Now draw energy from both above and below at the same time, and let the energies mingle in your solar plexus. As you breathe in, draw in the energy from above and below; as you breathe out, feel it spiralling and swirling.

Now allow the energy to fill your whole body, extending out to your feet, your fingertips, the top of your head. Feel how you are aligned with the cosmic axis.

Now acknowledge the four directions: North for Earth, representing the body, sensation, physicality, and structure; East for Air, representing intellect, thought, inspiration and breath; South for Fire, representing passion, intuition, and spirit; and West for Water, representing emotion, the Moon, dreams, and the blood that flows in your veins.

Dread: “A ship in the harbour is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.”

The other morning I was walking to my car, about to set off, when I saw a woman getting out of hers about to go into the large school room, for an exercise class. I looked at her, nodded, smiled and said hello. She had a terrified look on her face and then she began to speak. She said “Every week I come here and when I set off I do not know why I am coming.” She continued “Every week I have this horrendous feeling of dread in my stomach, I almost feel sick with fear” “And yet every week once I get started I really enjoy it and feel so much better afterwards.” We spoke for a few minutes about, fear anxiety and faith and then some of the other women arrived for the class, so I left and went about my business. It was interesting to note that although she dreaded coming every week, she was still the first to arrive.

Anyway I drove off and began ruminating about Dread! Like you do!

Fear comes in many forms. Fright is a vital part of our human make up, we really need it. It points to danger etc, it’s a warning signal. There are though other forms of fear which are not useful at all. Perhaps the most debilitating is dread.

Dread is a crippling form of anxiety. It is fed by our desire to control what is beyond our control, the world in which we live. We want to be safe, we want to be secure, but is this realistic? Is life really about being safe and secure? I am not convinced that it is. Sadly, it would appear, when some folk begin to see this reality they can become crippled by the dread of life itself.

Dread is the ultimate in negativity. It can make everything appear bleak. It dulls the senses, turns colours into shades of grey and takes all the taste out of life. It leads to folk projecting all their anxiety and worry onto everything that they do in life and thus takes the very life out of living. It leads to misery.

At it’s worse dread can lead to us into a pit of depression. It traps us with the very things that we believe protect us from the dangers that we see in life. As a result we go deeper into ourselves, until we become lost and trapped within our own black hole. It can be very difficult to find our way out of this black hole. We certainly can’t just dig ourselves out.

I am of course familiar with dread, it did in days gone by rule much of my life. From a young age it would often come over me on Sunday afternoons and evenings, usually when Bullseye was on or Surprise to Surprise, I think that’s why I preferred to be out of the house, so as to deny the reality of returning to school. It was the same in late teens and twenties, but by then alcohol had become a solution to that hideous feeling in my stomach and everything else for that matter. I really didn’t enjoy having to conform to reality. I am of course a much different man today. I have discovered the gift of reality, I know that this is where the joy of living is to be found.

A friend of mine recently posted this on Facebook:

“A ship in the harbour is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.”

Of course this isn’t entirely true, ships aren’t always safe in the harbour. Think about the destruction of the American fleet at Pearl Harbour. That said I did get her point. By living safely in what we know, the old familiar we may well remain safe, but that really isn’t what life is about. It’s about living, it’s about taking risks, it’s about being out of this state of control from time to time. We cannot protect ourselves from life’s dangers, from suffering. In fact by even trying to do so we end up suffering from something far worse “The suffering within the suffering”, we end up not living at all, we stagnate, we lose everything that makes us human, we do not make best use of the gifts we have been given. What a waste! Dread can be soul destroying and life taking. It disconnects us from life itself.

Grief can often lead to dread, whether through the loss of a loved one or through repeated failure or rejection in life. These losses, these defeats can lead us to believe that we will never know joy again. As Forrest Church highlights Dread combines the fear of death with the fear of life. It makes us fully aware of the fragility of life, but without an appreciation of its preciousness. Therefore the risk required to find colour and flavour in life is seen as hopeless. We say “why take any chance”; we say “nothing ventured, nothing lost”; we say “Why bother?” We withdraw from life, retreat into ourselves until it all looks grey and bleak again. We lose our taste for life. We live disconnected lives.

So what’s the solution? Well for me it’s quite simply to have a little faith; to not allow that feeling in your stomach to rule. The lady I met outside the large school room seemed to have it, in spite of her fear, she just needs to learn how not spoil her morning before arriving at the class. But does this truly deal with the causes of dread? No not really, it only offers a temporary solution to the immediate difficulty. It deals with anxiety one dread at a time, but it doesn’t fully solve the real problem. What about the big picture?

Well it won’t surprise my regular readers to hear that I believe Forrest Church offers a solution.

He said:

"...When suffering overwhelms hope, as it sometimes will, life’s burden feels too heavy for us to shoulder; it may in fact be too heavy to shoulder on our own. We must then turn to others and to God for strength. And for encouragement. Encouraged, we once again take heart. In the face of dread’s most persuasive argument, mustering the courage to act, love, and be, we answer fear’s no with a saving yes”.

We are not alone and we do not need to try and face life alone. By reaching beyond ourselves we can find to courage to live and to be all that we are able to be. If we do we will see life in all its colour and taste it in all its flavour. Sometimes that will mean we will get hurt and even seemingly fail, but at least we will be fully alive. We will be connected to life itself.

So yes a ship is seemingly safe if left in the harbour, but it really isn’t what they are made for.

Videos on UK Spirituality

I have just created two new categories in the Resources section - videos and captioned videos.

You can submit your own videos for inclusion on our pages. If you have captions on your video, please add them to the captioned videos section.

Captioned videos are more accessible, because the Deaf and hard of hearing can access them too.

I wondered if I should also create a category for videos with sign language, but most videos on YouTube are in ASL rather than BSL, and as UK Spirituality is mainly aimed at British audiences, maybe ASL won't be much use. I'd welcome feedback on this.

Unitarian Society for Psychical Studies

The Unitarian Society for Psychical Studies Annual Conference is on 24th September at Warwick. Cost £17.

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